


The Truth is in the Lie

by WritersBlockBites



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:27:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25972843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritersBlockBites/pseuds/WritersBlockBites
Summary: Adult relationships are hard. JJ and Emily find themselves struggling to figure out just exactly what is going on between them while desperately trying to keep up the lie that they are nothing more than friends.
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 7
Kudos: 119





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: Hi everyone - new fic that takes place sometime during season 7. I am not a fan of writing out the actual case situations, so that is going to be glossed over and this is going to be more about the personal lives. I will throw reference to cases in here but they will be taken from random points in the show. This is a JJ/Emily fic so please note that before you continue. Other characters will be mentioned but not focused on.
> 
> I will post updates regularly as I never post a story that isn't already complete. This one is 5 chapters total.
> 
> THIS IS ALSO POSTED ON FF.NET & WILL BE UPDATED BOTH THERE AND HERE
> 
> Love reviews - so feel free.
> 
> I do not own Criminal Minds, obviously.

CHAPTER 1

Jennifer Jareau steered the black SUV into the parking garage at such a high rate of speed that Emily Prentiss instinctively reached for the grip bar just above her window.

"Jeez JJ," Emily mutters under her breath as she glances at the younger blonde still focused solely on driving. "What's the rush?"

"We are so late," JJ replies biting at the corner of her bottom lip and glancing at the brunette next to her. She continues to follow the path in the parking garage, going up and up to the second to last level of the five story structure. She finally selects a spot in the very corner of the parking garage that is void any other vehicles.

"There were about two hundred empty parking spots between there and here," Emily points out chuckling slightly to herself as the vehicle is put into park and the ignition turned off. She starts to undo her seat belt and can hear JJ doing the same next to her. "Being a little choosy with the parking spot considering you're so concerned about the time…" Emily starts again to badger the blonde but before she can finish, she feels two strong hands grab the collar of her shirt and forcefully pull her back before she can open the car door.

Brown eyes meet with bright blue as Emily turns her head to see who had stopped her movement and JJ smirks at her before pulling Emily further into her, their lips crashing together like magnets unable to be apart.

There aren't words spoken. They didn't need them. Both the women knew exactly what was being said with that kiss and what they each needed from it. There was no one that knew JJ better than the woman whose lips were attached to hers at the moment.

It wasn't like this was the first time their lips had met with such force and passion. JJ couldn't remember exactly how long ago their first time was, but she did remember that night in blinding detail. Sometimes, when she fell asleep at night, she would close her eyes and remember exactly what it felt like to feel Emily's hands on her skin. The way her body hummed with every single touch of the brunette's strong and experienced hands. The way she tasted and smelled and the way her heart filled to the brim and overflowed with love with every kiss, smile or hand graze.

Sure, JJ was very well aware that her feelings for Emily Prentiss had changed somewhere along the way during their time together. Again, she wasn't exactly sure when it had happened but she knew that there was nothing she could do to make the feelings go away. She had spent countless hours trying to convince herself to stay away from the brunette, and yet no matter how much she told herself she would, she always found herself again in this same compromising position.

A moan escapes JJ's own lips during the searing kiss, jerking her back to the moment and she can feel Emily's right hand starting to move slightly down her still seated body. She was angled in a way that made it difficult, but Emily had become a master at all things JJ and she could make anything, or anywhere, work for them. When Emily's fingers graze the patch of skin just above JJ's pant line where her shirt has ridden up, JJ feels a flood of fire go straight to her core.

But it immediately goes cold at the shrill sound of her cell phone pinging from the dashboard.

Emily pulls back instantly, her eyes glued to the phone before moving them back to meet JJ's. She nods her head at the phone with a slight smile on her face, as to tell JJ she didn't want her to miss the alert. JJ stares deeply at Emily for a moment before leaning forward and capturing Emily's swollen lips one more time for a quick kiss. She releases the older woman and reaches for the phone. As she reads the text her expression changes and Emily notices the change in her demeanor. She reaches out with her hand, the same one that had moments ago been buried in the blonde's long hair and swiftly nudges JJ's leg.

"Like I said, we are so late," JJ says closing out the text and stuffing the phone into her pocket. She exits the vehicle, the same as Emily, and situates herself; her hair, her lipstick and her gun carefully holstered on her hip before pressing the button to lock the car and making her way around the back where she meets the brunette.

"Why did I agree to this again?" Emily asks as the two women start to walk toward the elevator several yards away from where JJ had parked.

"Because you love me," JJ says with a smirk and a wink and Emily can't help but laugh in response. She wants to respond, tell the blonde just how much she really does love her, but she knows now isn't the time place for such declarations.

She had never planned on actually falling in love with the woman before her. In fact, she had specifically told herself that she didn't want to be committed to anyone at all. Which is why her situation with JJ worked so well at time when it started. Emily didn't want commitment and JJ couldn't give it.

But the more time she spent with the blonde, the further and further she fell in love with her. Emily had been the one to suggest that they keep it casual, so she knew she couldn't be the one to change things now, despite the truth of her feelings eating her alive every moment of every day.

After a year had passed of them doing whatever it was they were doing, Emily had started to realize that her truth would likely never be able to be confessed. Losing JJ wasn't an option of course, so instead of backing away, she allowed their relationship to continue on JJ's terms, which meant, no one, not even the rest of the team would ever know the truth about the two of them.

Of course, there had been close calls over the past couple of years. More than once Emily could remember being just inches away from JJ's lips when Garcia came barging in rambling about the next girl's night she had planned for the three of them. Reid had even pointed out the few times their hands had instinctively found one another's after a particularly rough case. They had instantly detached but were able to chalk that up to being such close friends.

As Emily's mind races back to all those moments, she feels a soft hand lace fingers with her own and she glances down to see JJ's hand in hers. Their eyes catch as they stop at the elevator and JJ leans in, placing one last kiss on Emily's lips before releasing her hand and pressing the elevator button.

"Is it too late for me to change my mind?" Emily asks, easily slipping back into the best friend mode they shared when they were in public with one another, as they stand silently in the elevator taking them down to the ground level. "I mean, this is just…"

"Em, you know why we are doing this."

"Yeah, yeah," Emily replies, following the blonde out of the elevator and walking by her side toward the restaurant. Their fingers graze one another but they have the sense to pull away as they enter through the main door and are greeted by the sound of his voice.

"Hey there cher," Will LaMontagne says in that accent that somehow makes Emily cringe. It wasn't that she didn't like Will, because she did. She just didn't like that he had gotten to JJ first. "I was wondering if the two of you were going to stand us up," he finishes after enveloping the blonde in a huge hug and placing a chaste kiss to her lips.

It takes everything in Emily's power not to punch him in the face.

"Emily, this is Benjamin Bowers," JJ says after greeting her boyfriend and turning to the other man standing at his side.

"Nice to meet you," Ben says reaching out to take Emily's hand, which she accepts and shakes.

"You as well," Emily replies plastering on that face that she had put on so many times before.

This was a dance that the two of them knew all too well by this point. The kind they knew they had to have in order to keep the truth of their relationship a secret to everyone around them. Having double dates with JJ and her boyfriend were the perfect way for them to appear like any normal best friends and co-workers.

Did it suck? Absolutely. Emily hated having to pretend to be interested in anything any of the men JJ or Will had brought along said each time they put on this show. But she did it for JJ, because she knew that JJ's biggest fear was Will finding out about the two of them and losing everything she had worked so hard for.

It wasn't Will that JJ was scared of losing. JJ knew that she would be just fine without the man she called her boyfriend. Sure, there had been love there when they first started seeing each other. That love had always been real. But as she had grown and changed through the years, something had made that love different than how it had started out. It wasn't the passion that she felt when she was with Emily. It was merely a fondness for the man she called her boyfriend. Naturally, of course, it wasn't just Will that JJ had to think of, which is what really made things so hard for the blonde. There was Henry as well.

"Sorry we were so late, it was a long day," JJ says snapping Emily back to the current reality of where they are. The waiter guides the party of four to their table and Will stops to pull the chair out for his girlfriend. Emily moves to take the seat next to JJ, however is stopped when Ben pulls out the chair across from the blonde for her to take instead.

"Thank you," she says smiling appropriately and taking the seat. She catches JJ's eyes but doesn't take the time to evaluate the look in them.

"Rough one today ladies?" Will asks taking the seat next to his girlfriend.  
"Actually, no case today," Emily states as she opens her menu and glances at the wine menu. "Just a shit ton of paperwork that had been piling up because of all those other cases recently."

"Wow, I guess when Will explained to me what the two of you ladies do for the FBI, I never imagined you actually had to do your own paperwork along with it," Ben says smiling from his place next to the brunette at the table.

"Oh yes, there is no get out of jail free card for paperwork," JJ smirks, her leg rising just enough to rub against Emily's across from her under the table.

The brunette jerks slightly at the action but is able to recover without being noticed.

"Shall we drink?" Emily offers.

The rest of the evening is filled with small talk, banter back and forth and even some laughter. As difficult as it was for the two women to have these nights out with JJ's boyfriend and a random date for Emily, their friendship always shined through.

Sure, they were secret lovers, but they were first and always would be best friends.

As the night comes to a close, the four adults stop in front of the entrance to the parking structure next to the restaurant.

"It was really nice to meet you Emily," Ben offers leaning in and hugging the brunette affectionately. She reciprocates and for a brief second over his shoulder sees a hint of jealousy in the blue eyes that are watching her carefully.

"It was great to meet you as well," the brunette responds as she pulls back from the hug. "We'll have to do it again sometime."

JJ struggles to hide the growl that is about to come out of her throat and covers it with a cough that makes Emily smirk knowingly.

"Cher, I'll meet you at the house?" Will asks, leaning and kissing the blonde's cheek before reaching out and shaking Ben's hand. "Em," he says when his eyes finally rest on the brunette's.

Just before he can say anything more, the sound of JJ's phone going off interrupts. Everyone glances at the blonde, including Emily, who knows the familiar sound all too well.

"Jareau," she says into the phone. She nods her head several times and glances at Emily. "I'll tell her, we are just finishing up dinner."

With that she hangs up and sticks out her bottom lip, pouting like a child who's toy had been taken away from them for bad behavior.

"Was that Hotch?" Emily asks curious as to the blonde's very short responses on the phone.

"Sorry babe," she says directing her attention to Will next to her and not answering Emily's question. "We have to go back in to consult on a case. But the good news is, it shouldn't take too long. We don't have to go anywhere. I'll be home by morning to help see Henry off to school," JJ explains and although Will is clearly disappointed, he doesn't argue. He knows the job and he knows arguing won't do any good.

Instead he kisses his girlfriend, says goodbye to Emily and follows Ben to the other end of the first level of the parking structure where their cars both were parked.

The women both walk swiftly toward the stairs to the elevator, which is there waiting for them and wait in silence as they are lifted to the fourth floor of the structure. It isn't until they are out of the elevator and their car is in view that JJ laces her fingers with Emily's as the two make their way back to the car.

"What's the consult?" Emily asks when she feels the blonde's hand in hers. "JJ?"

"Hmmm?" JJ asks glancing at Emily for a moment but continuing to walk to the waiting SUV. The way she sways her hips with her walk starts to make Emily question things.

"JJ, was that Hotch on the phone?"

"I never said it was," JJ replies as they get to the door of door of their vehicle. JJ goes to push the button to unlock it but before she can, Emily spins the blonde so her back is to the door and their lips just centimeters from one another.

"So who was it then?"

"No one," JJ breathes out seductively. The smell of the wine on her breath reminds Emily of just how close the two of them are in that moment and she can't help but shiver at the thought of what is about to come. "It's an app I downloaded. It places a fake call to my phone when I tell it to."

"Really, and why would you do that?" Emily asks, knowing the answer but wanting to hear JJ say it anyway.

"Because," JJ's whispers, her lips now grazing Emily's ear, their bodies against one another. Emily's eyes close instinctively at the feeling of JJ's lips so close to her. "I want to finish what we started in the car."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUTHORS NOTE: Again, a quick reminder, that I know that this particular case took place in season 8 when Emily wasn't even around. But because I'm looking for a certain situation, I'm using the cases that work for what I'm looking for. Also, in case you might be wondering, everything that happened in the show up to the end of Season 6 did take place WITH EXCEPTION of Emily faking her death. She did not fake her death here and instead was saved and stayed at the BAU the entire time. Just makes things easier for this :)

Chapter 2

It had been a day. JJ had always wondered what that saying actually meant; of course a day was a day. But after the case they had just finished and the day she had, she finally understood it.

They had thought they were going to have a head start when the team made their way to Los Angeles to deal with the "Nanny Killer." Turns out, after bumping up his timeline they were more behind than ever. This was one of those cases that had bothered JJ since she had started working it so many years before. It was one of the ones that got away and maybe why that is she always held onto it.

JJ was thrilled when Tara finally decided to cooperate with them. She knew it wasn't going to be easy but she also knew it was the best chance at finally putting this guy away for good and putting her own mind at ease.

It was always the cases about kids that got to her the most. This one, while the Unsub was never harming the children, always made her think of her own son. She and Will both worked odd hours and of course they had no other choice but to to keep a nanny on staff. They had interviewed dozens of women before deciding on the one and Garcia had even blurred the lines between legal and not so legal when doing an extensive background check on the poor young woman.

Now with the case wrapped, the blonde profiler was standing in the small bathroom of the hotel the team was holed up in for the night. She had just finished her shower and despite feeling some relief from the warm water on her body, her senses were still on high alert. She was struggling to relax from the day. After all, she had shot a man and killed him and despite that being her job, it never got any easier each time she had to do it.

She lets out a huge sigh, taking in her reflection in the mirror in front of her. She can't believe how tired she looks. Without knowing why, she feels the tears start to pool in the corners of her eyes. She bites at her lip, attempting to push them back but they win the battle this time. They fall unceremoniously down her cheeks and before she knows it, her right hand had gone to her mouth to stifle her sobs while her left hand is clutching the sink in an effort to keep her upright.

Outside the bathroom door, Emily was just making her way back into her shared room. The BAU had always been stingy when it came to budgets, so it was never a surprise when JJ and Emily were asked to share a hotel room when they were on location. Especially in LA, where even the cheapest hotel was expensive, they knew they were going to be rooming together. Of course, considering the secret affair they were having, neither one of them ever argued and instead used the time to get a little extra time together that they might not be able to have otherwise.

The brunette had been downstairs drinking with Morgan when JJ had gone up to shower. The blonde had sat there with the team, Reid, Rossi and Hotch included, through dinner and for several drinks before announcing her need to wash away the memory of earlier that day. They had all understood, each of them having been there at one point or another.

Emily wanted to immediately follow the younger woman, but she knew the rules that had been put in place between her and JJ. There was a long list, but at the top of it was not doing anything that might create suspicion as to the nature of their relationship. She knew that if she went up at the same time as the blonde, it would be more than suspicious, considering Emily was never the first to leave from a night of drinking.

So instead, she had pushed down the feelings of guilt and worry for another hour before finally relenting to Morgan that he could out drink her. She said her good nights to the rest of the team and had to mentally remind her legs not to make a run for it to the elevator.

She knew that JJ wasn't doing alright after the case that afternoon. It was never easy to be the person that ended another life, but for JJ she always took it especially hard. Add that to the fact that the case involved children, this one in particular, children with their nannies, which JJ most certainly had, and Emily knew the blonde's emotions were going to be all over the place. She wanted nothing more than to get to her and comfort her the way she knew only she could.

As Emily quietly enters the hotel room and closes the door she can tell that JJ is still in the bathroom. The door leading to that room is closed and had been open the last time she was in there, so she knew that behind the door was the woman she loved. As she makes her way further into the room she can hear the muffled sounds of JJ's tears and Emily's heart breaks slightly at the sound.

She opens the door to the bathroom, causing JJ to spin around immediately, wiping at her eyes with both hands, but not being able to stop the tears from actually falling.

"Come here babe," Emily says, her arms held out for JJ to fall into. The blonde does just that, her body practically falling into the taller brunette as she clings to her. JJ's face is now buried on Emily's chest, tears freely flowing out and quiet sobs the only noise in the room.

After about five minutes of just standing there, carefully running her hand up and down JJ's still bare arm and whispering soothing words to calm her, Emily feels the younger woman pull out of the embrace. She doesn't let go of Emily, her hands still linger on the brunette's hips, holding her from moving anywhere.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what..." JJ starts but Emily doesn't let her finish. Instead she moves forward and captures the blonde's lips in a loving kiss.

JJ immediately reciprocates. Her tongue swipes across Emily's bottom lip, seeking entrance to her mouth, which Emily allows. Their tongues battle for dominance as their legs instinctively move them backward out of the bathroom doorway and toward one of the double beds situated in the middle of the room. Emily's knees bump against the bed and just before she falls backward, she finds the energy to pull her lips apart from JJ's.

"Hey, look at me," Emily says reaching up and tilting JJ's chin so brown eyes can meet blue. "You did what you had to do today Jayje."

As much as Emily would have loved to let their heated kiss become so much more, and as much as she loved the woman standing before her, she also knew that whatever was about to happen between the two of them was only a band aid for the pain that JJ was really feeling. The blonde had a tendency to try to mask her emotions, not wanting to appear weak, especially in front of Emily.

"I know," JJ responds quietly, now fiddling with the towel that is still wrapped around her body. "Doesn't make it feel any better, you know?"

"I do," Emily reminds her, thankful she's able to relate the same feeling JJ has right now. "But I know that it's more than just being the kill shot that got to you Jayje," Emily finishes, not wanting to get caught up in the lust of everything before she was sure that JJ was really alright. "It's about Henry, isn't it?"

A brief smile immediately appears on JJ's face. Just saying the name of her son had that effect on her. There was no one in the world she loved more than that little boy. However, it disappears almost just as quickly when she remembers the nannies and children effected today.

"Tara asked me about Henry today," JJ remarks, allowing Emily to pull her down into a seated position on the bed with her. JJ leans her head onto the brunette's shoulder and Emily wraps her arm around to embrace her. "She asked me where he was and I guess until that moment, I never really thought about the fact that he was with the nanny."

"It scared you," Emily states knowing where JJ's head had gone earlier that day during the case. "But I promise you babe, Henry is safe and sound tucked into his bed right now."

"I know," JJ admits. "It just... if that ever happened to Henry and Sarah," JJ starts, referring to Henry's nanny who had been with them since Henry's birth. "I don't know what I would have done."

"You will never have to find out," Emily reassures the blonde next to her, placing a loving kiss to her temple and holding her hand in their lap. "Henry is the safest kid in the entire universe. He has a dad who is a detective, four federal agent uncles, two federal agent aunts and the most badass mom on the planet. No one in the world is stupid enough to mess with that cutie."

JJ nods knowingly and her eyelids start to droop in her comfortable position on Emily's shoulder, the weight of the day finally catching up to her entirely. Emily smiles, pulling the blonde further back onto the bed so that she can lay down, before snuggling up behind her, wrapping her tightly in her embrace.

She listens to the sound of JJ's steady breathing and feels her chest rising and falling lightly where her hands are latched with the blonde's in front of them. Emily places a tiny kiss the nape of JJ's neck, not wanting to wake her, but wanting to reassure the blonde, even during slumber, that she was there and safe in her arms.

"Mmmm," JJ purrs at the feeling of Emily's lips on her neck. She snuggles even further into the brunette before letting out a large breath. "Goodnight Em."

Emily waits for a few minutes, wanting JJ to be fully asleep before she responds. For it's only when JJ is sleeping that Emily can tell her how she really feels. Eventually, the brunette leans down again, this time, her lips connecting with JJ's cheek.

"Goodnight babe. I love you," she whispers.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

JJ makes her way up to the gate of her property, a defeated look on her face. It has been a pretty good day, she had to admit. There had been no new case that demanded their attention and because of that, JJ was able to get completely caught up on all that paperwork that had been piling up on her desk for what felt like forever. It was the first time in she couldn't even recall that she would be home with more than just an hour before collapsing into bed from exhaustion.

She had finished her paperwork at about 4:30 and spent the next ten gathering all her stuff to take home. She wasn't surprised when Emily appeared at the side of her desk in the bullpen just as she was about to leave, considering Emily always made that stop on her way out the door.

But something was different now, and JJ was having a hard time with it. It had been almost a week since they had returned from Los Angeles and dealt with the Nanny Killer. That case had really gotten to the blonde and she was grateful that she had Emily next to her to help her deal with her emotions. However, as she had drifted off to sleep in her lover's arms that night, she knew what she heard. And those three little words had done nothing but cause JJ's stomach to do flips and turns since then.

The younger agent had tried to keep it cool with Emily when they were at work since then. After all, they had always hidden the true nature of their relationship at work and it wasn't much different with this. However, the confession the blonde knew she hadn't been meant to hear had caused a whole mess of thoughts to swirl around the blonde's head and she found herself struggling to deal with what it really meant.

Did Emily mean it when she said she loved her? Was Emily in love with her, the way JJ was with the brunette? After all, Emily had been the one when everything started between them to say that it wasn't something serious between them. She had been the one to encourage JJ not to give up her family, her life for her. At first, JJ was grateful for Emily's position on the matter. She was terrified of the thought of losing the family she had built for the outside world. Of losing Henry. Of losing Will even. But the longer things went on between her and Emily, the less terrified she got of losing Will and the more terrified she became of losing Emily.

A part of her knew that she would never lose Henry. Sure, she didn't want to make things complicated for him, but she was his mother. There was no way that Will would be able to keep her out of his life. There was always that lingering tiny fear in the back of her mind, but she had made peace with that fear a long time ago. It was now the fear that she would never be able to fully love Emily out in the open that kept her up at night.

But Emily had never said anything about being in love with her. At least not to JJ. That whispered confession was the first time JJ even got a hint that Emily's feelings for her might be more equal to her own for the brunette. Now that she knew that, she was wracked with indecision. Should she stay with her safe life that she knew kept her family in tact? Or should she take a chance, throw caution to the wind and admit to Emily that she too, was in love with her?

That is, if Emily's words even truly meant the same as JJ thought. Perhaps they were just meant in a platonic way, a soothing term used to comfort her in her time of need. It wasn't like they hadn't spoken those words before, though never meant in the context JJ truly felt them.

And that there, was the problem JJ had been having the past week. One minute she would convince herself she was going to confess to Emily that she too, loved her and the next she was sure that Emily hadn't meant the words in the way JJ wished she had.

Because their affair was a secret, it was something she couldn't talk to anyone about. That made it even harder. She desperately wanted to talk to Garcia or even Reid about her feelings. Knowing that one of them would be able to help her figure out exactly what to do. But she knew she couldn't do that. Neither one of them even suspected she was cheating on Will, much less with Emily and that knowledge alone would blow their minds.

So instead, JJ had spent the week avoiding the brunette. It was killing her, because what she wanted more than anything was the grab the brunette and kiss her and have that kiss explain everything. But her mind wouldn't let her stop being confused. So instead of finding and excuse to head to Emily's every night, she had instead found an excuse to go home. Tonight was no different.

Emily had asked if she wanted to do dinner and a movie before JJ went home, but JJ had declined, for the fourth time that week. It was unusual and Emily was pretty certain that something was going on with the blonde, but despite her years of being a profiler, she couldn't for the life of her figure out what it was. After the second time JJ had found a reason to decline their usual tryst, Emily had all but convinced herself that JJ was pulling away from the affair all together and that everything she had was going to end just like that.

The brunette didn't argue with the younger agent however. She knew it wasn't her place. She knew JJ couldn't commit to her fully and she cursed herself for falling in love with someone who she knew was unavailable. So she had just smiled when JJ explained she had to head home to spend time with Henry.

JJ for her part, hated lying to the brunette, but really needed just a little more time to herself to figure out just what was going on in her own brain. So she made her way home and into her house, immediately putting on that media liaison smile as soon as Will turned the corner to greet her.

"Hey cher," he uttered with his New Orleans' drawl. "How was the day?"

"Not bad," she muttered, avoiding the kiss to her lips he leaned in to give her and turning so his lips met with her cheek instead. "How was yours?"

"Pretty good."

"Where's Henry?" JJ asks, looking around into the living room for her blonde haired boy.

"Ahh, Spencer showed up about twenty minutes ago," Will explains, tilting his head to the side a little in surprise at her question. "He told me he asked if he could take Henry to ice cream and the park today and you had agreed."

"Oh yeah," JJ exclaims, remembering the conversation well with her best friend earlier that day. Reid had also gotten caught up on paperwork and had asked if he could use the time to spend with his favorite godson. A part of JJ had thought he had made the offer knowing how tired and uneasy she looked, but she hadn't questioned him and just agreed to his request instead.

"He said they'd be home by 7 for Henry to get into bed," Will explains following JJ through the house into the kitchen. The blonde tosses her go bag on the floor under the bar stools and removes her gun from the holster, immediately going to the gun safe to lock it up. When she returns, Will has a glass of white wine he's poured for her, holding it out for her to accept.

"Thanks," JJ says with the first genuine smile she had given him since returning home. "I need this."

Will smiled, walking around the counter and wrapping JJ up in a hug. She allowed her body to sink into it and closed her eyes, trying to relax her feelings and emotions.

The silence was easy, peaceful almost. Despite not being in love with Will, being married to Will had never been a chore. He was wonderful to both her and Henry and had always been understanding, kind and loving. It was partly what made her feelings for Emily so much harder to accept.

"Jay?" Will's voice breaks through the silence and JJ mutters a bit but doesn't pull back from the warm embrace she's found herself in with her husband. "Do you want to talk about it yet? It's been almost a week now."

JJ pulls back at the question, her brows furrowing to look at him, not sure what he means.

"Talk about what?"

Will's gaze is fixed on her, his eyes unwavering but still filled with nothing but love and compassion.

"Come here," Will says, leading the blonde to the couch in the living room around the corner, where he sits next to JJ, his body turned just enough to be facing her. "You can tell me you know."

It isn't accusing or angry, the words. Instead, there is something calm about the way he says them.

"Tell you what?" JJ asks, her heart starting to beat more rapidly than before as she takes a sip of wine from her glass in an attempt to calm herself.

"Jayje," he starts, letting out a small sigh. "You know I love you. And I know you. This time, something is different. Something is eating you up inside."

"What do you mean this time?" she asks curious as to what he is actually referring to.

"You tell me," he says calmly, carefully, his hand reaching out to grasp her free one. JJ's eyes start to fill with tears. In that exact moment she knows by looking in his eyes that he knows the truth. She's not sure how, but he knows about her and Emily. A tear slips down her cheek as she leans to put her glass on the table and he reaches forward and wipes it away with his thumb. "Just say it, cher. You'll feel a whole lot better."

"I... I can't," JJ says as more tears start to fall. She can still feel his hand in hers and she tries to pull away but he doesn't let her. She still has no idea if he's even talking about the same thing she is, but at the same time, she's pretty sure he is. He holds her hand still in his and allows a comforting and warm smile to reach his face.

"It's okay Jayje," he says pulling her to him and hugging her tightly. She clings to his back, her sobs unable to be controlled now and he soothes her by running his hand through her hair softly. "Shhh. Jennifer, it's okay."

"How can you say that?" JJ sobs, still clinging to him, unable to look him in the eye in this moment.

Will pulls back slightly, forcing JJ to look at him through her tear filled eyes.

"Because I love you Jayje," he calmly states, his eyes still showing nothing but love. "I just want you to be happy. And I know that I don't make you as happy as she does."

It's the first time that he's said "she" during the whole conversation. The first time he's actually confirmed he is talking about the exact same thing she is. A part of her feels a huge weight lifted off her shoulders with his confession. The other part of her feels like she's going to be sick.

"How long have you known?" JJ finds the courage to ask, her tears starting to slow. "I mean, how did you..."

"I've suspected it for a while now," Will cuts in. "But I wasn't 100% sure until a few months ago with that whole bank robbery case."

JJ's mind spins back to that day. It had been one of the worst of her life.

Her boyfriend, the father of her child had walked into that bank knowing that his life was in danger. She had screamed and cried and done everything in her power to stop him, only to have four strong arms, Morgan's and Emily's, holding her back. She had never felt fear like that until he walked into that bank that day. She was terrified for him. Terrified for Henry. But her true terror came out only a few minutes later, when that explosion occurred and Emily had been inside.

She had run into that building faster than anyone could stop her. There weren't arms strong enough to stop her. Because this time, it was Emily. The terror she felt wasn't for someone else, it was her own. She was crying out for the brunette, searching frantically for the woman she loved. It was only when she finally saw the older agent standing, uninjured, that she remembered, she should have been crying out for Will and searching for him.

"Will," JJ starts, the mini movie from that day finally ending in her mind. But he holds up a hand to stop her. He knows she needs to fully understand.

"A buddy of mine was there, you know, when the building blew up. He and I were just chatting one day and it came up, you know? You, that day. How it all went down. Anyway," Will continues, leaning back and taking a sip of his beer from the bottle he had brought with him into the room, "he asked me how Emily was doing. I was confused as to why he would ask, but then he explained it. He told me that he had been standing behind you when the building blew. That he heard you screaming for her and that you had run in there after her. He was bustin' my chops that you weren't screaming for me."

"I was!" JJ replies instantly. "I was terrified."

"Oh I know cher," Will says seeming not at all angry. "But your first thought was her."

A silence takes hold of them for a moment. It's brief.

"I thought I..." JJ starts, unsure what she's about to say to finish.

"You thought you lost her," Will finishes for her. "I know Jay. My buddy figured it was just because she was your partner, your best friend. But when I heard that, every suspicion I had for the past year I knew in my bones was true. You are in love with her."

It wasn't a question. It was a statement. One he was sure about.

"I love you, Will," JJ replies instantly, not sure if it's habit or she's trying to deny her feelings for the brunette in this moment. The words don't feel like a lie, but they certainly don't feel like the truth the moment demands either.

"I know you do darlin'," Will says with a chuckle under the words. "But not like you love her. Your eyes, they only light up when you are with her." A blush creeps on JJ's cheeks and she looks down at her hands in her lap. But he reaches down and tilts her chin back up to look at him.

"Will, I don't know. I don't know what to say," JJ admits.

"There isn't anything to say cher," he whispers, the kindness in his voice overwhelming in the moment. "You love who you love. Does she know?"

"I don't know. No."

"Are you going to tell her?"

"I'm not even sure she feels the same way about me," JJ admits feeling strange talking so freely about a subject she's never discussed with anyone. She never imagined having this conversation with another person, let alone her husband.

"She does," Will says smiling. "Man, you'd have to be blind not to see how much she loves you Jayje. I mean, I love you but boy, that look she has for you. I've never seen love that deep."

"It wasn't supposed to be like this," JJ says feeling tears threaten to pour out in her eyes again. "I never meant for this to happen. To go behind your back, to be the kind of person who would," she pauses, not sure if she should say the words but eventually she realizes they don't actually matter anymore. "Cheat."

"Oh I know darlin'," Will replies reaching for her hand again to hold. "You know, I've been wondering for a while now why when I figured it out I didn't do something to stop you. Why I didn't call you out and fight to keep you with me. And I think it's because I've always known."

"What do you mean you've always known?" JJ asks surprised by his words.

"I mean, I think I saw it there from the day I met you. You and Em always had this bond that was just... different than your bond with the others. It wasn't the same as it was with Spencer or Penelope. It was different. It was deeper. I think I always knew it was there and I chose to just look the other way because, hell, I guess because I'm just a little selfish," he says once again with a chuckle behind the words. "I wanted you for myself, even if I knew it wouldn't be forever. Deep down, I knew forever was never in the cards for us."

"How could you have known when I didn't?"

"Sometimes it's easier to see something in someone else than it is to see it in yourself," Will replies. "And now, I've realized that I can't keep holding onto you for selfish reasons. It's time for me to let you go. For me to let you be with the person that can truly make you happy. You deserve that."

JJ pulls him into her, crashing her body to his and holding him as tightly as she possibly can. She doesn't want to let go. A part of her knows that when she does, everything changes and even though she's relieved that it's all out in the open, the other part of her is beyond scared of what comes next.

"I'm scared," she whispers while holding him close and he hugs her a little tighter.

"I know," Will whispers back. "But I promise, it's all going to be alright."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

JJ isn't sure how long she's been sitting there, but she feels like she can't move. Her and Will finished their conversation and he had explained that he already had another place lined up to stay for the night.

Apparently he had been working up the courage to talk to her just the same as she had been doing with him. He had been prepared for what he knew was the inevitable, and had already secured his own apartment nearby.

The conversation could not have gone any better, as far as JJ was concerned. There had been a lot of tears, yes, but no raised voices, no arguing and no blaming anyone for what had happened. JJ wasn't sure how she had managed to be so lucky as to find a guy as understanding and amazing as Will, and for a brief moment, just after he pulled out of the drive and out of view, the blonde thought she had made a mistake.

Had she really just thrown away such a wonderful relationship to pursue a woman who might not even feel the same way she does? And even if Emily did feel the same way, was she willing to have their relationship, one that started as an affair, out in the open?

The tears flowed heavily from that point forward. She cried out every last one of them until there was nothing left to cry out. By the time the front door opened at exactly 7pm, JJ's face was puffy, her eyes red and her head pounding.

She barely had the strength to stand up and greet Henry at the door.

"Mommy!" the young boy shrieked as he let go of Spencer's hand and dashed forward to her waiting arms. He had a ring of chocolate around his mouth from his ice cream eating time and there was just a hint of mud at the hem of his pants where he had gotten messy playing. JJ bent down and scooped up the young boy and as soon as he hit her arms, she felt the tears start to peek at the corner's of her eyes again.

Reid noticed immediately.

"Henry," why don't you run upstairs and get ready for bed?" Spencer asks the young boy, his eyes never leaving JJ as he speaks. "I'm going to talk with Mommy and then I'll be in to read you a bedtime story."

"Five!" Henry shouts with a giggle and a smile breaks on JJ's face, though it's short lived. Reid, doesn't skip a beat, not wanting to give any indication to the young boy that something is clearly wrong with his mother.

"Well, we can discuss the number once you are in bed," Reid says ruffling the young boy's hair as he's moved closer to him and JJ from the front door now. Henry smiles and turns to run up the stairs just as Reid reaches out to lightly grab JJ's shoulder. He squeezes it comfortingly and JJ closes her eyes, willing herself to not start to cry.

She holds it as long as she can, until she hears the sound of Henry reaching the top of the stairs and padding down the hallway toward his room. She then releases the breath she'd been holding and the tears she'd been biting back. Her body falls forward into Reid, who catches her, wrapping her up in the tightest hug he had ever given her.

"Will's gone," JJ says through her sobs and Reid nods his head slowly. He had assumed something had happened when he returned and Will's car was gone. It wasn't like him to be called out late at night and he did know his best friend pretty well. She was clearly upset and something big had happened while Henry had been with him.

The young man eventually is able to lead his blonde best friend to the couch and get her settled. He brings her a glass of water and covers her with a blanket, giving her a loving gaze before making his way up to the bedroom of his godson.

Thirty minutes and 3 bedtime stories later, Henry is finally asleep and Reid makes his way back down the stairs. A part of him wants JJ to be asleep, knowing she could use it after the emotional roller coaster she had been on that night but the other part of him wants to talk to her and find out exactly what that roller coaster of emotions was about.

"Is he asleep?" JJ asks as soon as Reid comes into view and the young man smiles.

"He is. How are you feeling?" he asks sitting next to her on the couch. She moves her legs to give him room to sit and he smiles.

"All over the place," she admits. "I mean, I don't even know how I feel right now."

"What happened?" Reid asks calmly not wanting to pry but needing to understand in order to say the right things.

"Will left," she states simply.

"You said that. But what actually happened?"

JJ lets out a huge breath of air before explaining everything. There was no sense in hiding it anymore, at least not from her best friend. She knew she needed to talk to someone about it and besides Emily, who she knew she couldn't talk to about this just yet, Spencer was always the first person she turned to in her time of need. She starts at the beginning. She tells Reid about the first time she felt something more than friendship for Emily and how that feeling slowly turned into something way beyond what she ever expected. She tells him about their affair and keeping it a secret and hearing Emily whisper those three little words that had set this whole thing in motion. She finishes by telling him everything Will said to her that night. How kind and caring and understanding he had been and how somehow, that understanding had her questioning everything. How now all she could think about was that she had let her marriage end for a woman who might not even want to be in a relationship with her out in the open.

"I just don't know how I let it get this far," JJ admits when the story is over. "What's wrong with me?"

"Well statistically speaking two-thirds of all unmarried couples who have a child together split up before the child is 12. And 40% of all unmarried relationships end due to affairs. Now of course, typically men are twice as likely to be the one to cheat however women do account for 10% of these situations."

"Thanks Reid," JJ says finding a smile on her face despite not loving the statistics he had provided.

"And while there isn't sufficient data to exactly give you numbers on how many women leave their boyfriend or husband for other women, it is very clear that it has become much more common in the last several years, considering the change in culture and society with acceptance of homosexuality."

"Spence," JJ says trying to stop him even more now because he clearly didn't get the hint the first time.

"Sorry, my point is that there is nothing wrong with you."

"Thank you."

"So what are you going to do now? Are you going to tell her?" Reid asks curious as to what the next step is for his blonde best friend.

"Ugh, I don't know," JJ says throwing her hands over her face and pinching the bridge of her nose. She can feel a headache pounding on her temples, likely due to all the crying she's been doing. "What if she really didn't mean it the way I do? What if she isn't ready to be in a committed relationship with me?"

"I don't think that's true at all," Spencer says frowning slightly at her words. "It's very clear that Emily is deeply in love with you. I mean, everyone knows she is, we talk about it all the time," he explains in the most casual manner ever, which causes JJ's eyes to shoot up to meet his immediately.

"What do you mean everyone talks about it all the time?"

"Come on JJ," Spencer starts. "Everyone can see the way she looks at you. We are profilers you know."

"Except me I guess," JJ says shaking her head. "I mean, I know she cares about me, but this is entirely different. This is me confessing to wanting to be with her, in a real relationship. We all know Emily Prentiss isn't great with commitment."

"I don't know," Spencer says thoughtfully. "She might surprise you."

Across town Emily sits in her living room, Sergio curled up on her lap as Penelope Garcia rambles on about yet another very important purchase she had made earlier that week.

"Em, are you even listening to me?" the peppy blonde asks, shaking the older brunette from her thoughts of JJ.

"Oh yeah, I'm sorry Pen, I'm just lost in my own world a little tonight."

"Want to tell me about what's bothering you yet?"

"What do you mean?" Emily asks raising a brow as she finishes the last of her wine and sets the glass down on the table in front of the couch. "Nothing's wrong. I'm just tired."

"You can't lie to me Emily Prentiss. I may not be a profiler but I know enough to know something is going on that's got you all in your head."

Emily doesn't know what exactly she can say to keep the tech analyst from prying more and she starts to wrack her brain at a good way to discuss her actual problem without letting the other woman know that the object of her affections is actually their mutual friend and co-worker.

"Alright, maybe you are right."

"Oh goodie," Penelope says excited to finally get the gossip. "Tell me, tell me everything."

"I guess I've just been trying to deal with the fact that I have feelings for someone who might not reciprocate them," Emily replies casually, already trying to come up with a backstory in her mind about who the person she might be talking about could be so that she doesn't tip Garcia off as to who she is really talking about.

"Oh, so we are talking about JJ then?" Garcia asks and Emily's eyes nearly fall out of her head at the words.

"What?"

"I'm sorry, were we supposed to not notice that you were hopelessly in love with the beautiful blonde?"

"I'm not," Emily starts, feeling the need to defend herself in that moment, not wanting anyone to catch on and for JJ to be thrown under the bus.

"Please stop," Penelope says before Emily can continue. "If you say what you are about to say right now then it would be a flat out lie. I suspected long ago that you were harboring feelings for her."

"Great," Emily says standing from the couch to pour more wine in her glass and then settling back down. "So everyone knows then?"

"I mean, if by everyone you mean the team, and by knows you mean that you are pining for JJ then, yes, everyone knows. But if you are referring to the fact that you and blondie have been actually having an affair for the past two years, then no, no one else knows but me."

Emily actually spits out the wine she had just taken into her mouth and starts to cough at the words spoken by her friend.

"I'm sorry, affair?" Emily asks as Penelope frowns and wipes the remnants of Emily's wine spray that had gotten onto her shirt. "Why would you think that?"

"Because I saw you," Penelope says casually as if it's the most common thing in the world. Emily's eyes go wide at the realization she won't be able to hide the truth from their friend in this moment and Penelope smiles to hopefully get her to relax. When that doesn't do the trick, she continues to explain. "It was about eighteen months ago and I had to come into the office super early to finish up something for Rossi that I had totally forgotten about the night before. I was sure I'd be the only one there but when I pulled into the garage I noticed both your cars. So I thought I would stop by and say good morning but when I did I heard the two of you up in JJ's old office. I made my way up there to see if maybe you both wanted to get some coffee or something and boy, was I surprised."

Emily remembered that day. It was the first and only time they had ever hooked up at the office. Emily had gone in to get some work done early and JJ was still there from the night before. She had found JJ asleep on her couch and upon waking the blonde, one thing had led to another.

"Oh my god," Emily says her hand going to her forehead to cover her eyes. "Why didn't you say something?"

"I guess I just figured you guys weren't ready to say anything. And I didn't want to cause problems for JJ," Garcia admits not seeming at all worried about the idea of JJ and her being together.

"Oh JJ's going to be mortified," Emily remarks and Garcia just shakes her head side to side.

"Don't worry, I won't say anything. I can't believe I haven't said anything for this long! Morgan asks me at least twice a week if I think something is going on between the two of you."

"Morgan knows too?"

"No!" Garcia clarifies quickly. "He doesn't think something is actually going on but he knows you have feelings for JJ. It's painfully obvious hun," the blonde finishes, her arm reaching out to squeeze Emily's in support. "It's fine. I'm the only one who knows anything for sure. And my lips are sealed. Like really sealed this time. This isn't the type of thing made for gossip."

"Thanks Pen," Emily says smiling weakly, still caught off guard by the information but thankful it didn't turn out much worse. At least now she had someone she could confide in about her feelings and what was going on with JJ.

"So, does this mean you want to actually talk to me and tell me what's going on now?"

Emily spends the next hour catching the analyst up on everything from how the affair started to their last interaction today. When she's finished, Garcia crinkles her brow slightly before a smile washes over her face.

"Do you think she heard you? Tell her that you love her I mean," she asks finally realizing what might have caused the sudden shift in JJ's demeanor after hearing about Emily's late night confession back in LA.

"That would make sense," Emily replies finally figuring it out herself. "Oh no, what if she heard me?" Panic suddenly takes over her brain.

"Relax," Garcia says seeing the panic in her friend's eyes. "You guys just need to talk about it, that's all."

"I don't know if I can," Emily admits her fingers heading to her mouth so she can start to bite at her nails. "Pretty sure she doesn't feel the same, considering how she's been avoiding me all week."

"Maybe she's just avoiding you because she feels the same and is afraid to tell you."

"I don't know Pen, all I know is that the last thing I want to do is lose her, but I can't ask her to give up her family for me either."

"You really are in love with her aren't you?" Garcia asks finally getting Emily to meet her eyes.

"I am," Emily admits, finally feeling relieved that she can say it out loud to someone other than Sergio.

"Then you have to tell her."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: We have reached the end of this one! Shorter chapter for the end to the fic but hey, it's harder to write endings than it is to write the rest. Thanks for much for reading and I hope you'll consider checking out my next fic hopefully coming very soon. I've already started working on it :)

Chapter 5

A knock at the door causes Emily to sit up quickly in bed. So quickly in fact, that Sergio meows with anger as he is flung to the foot of the bed from where he had been sleeping on her chest.

It had taken Emily hours to fall asleep after Garcia had left earlier. While she felt partly relieved that someone knew about her current situation with JJ she also was filled with a lot more anxiety now that she was sure someone knew about them. She didn't want to betray JJ and the brunette knew she was going to have to tell the younger woman that Penelope knew exactly what had been going on between them.

It wasn't a conversation she exactly was looking forward to. JJ had already been avoiding her and Emily was pretty sure that this would be the final nail the in coffin once she told her that their secret wasn't exactly a secret anymore.

When things first started between the two of them, Emily had told both herself and JJ that what they had wasn't serious at all. It was just an attraction between two people who happened to understand exactly how difficult their lives and jobs really were.

The relationship had started out as casual kisses here and there. After a horrible case in the parking garage or after one too many glasses of wine on girls night once Penelope had either passed out or headed home. And then, after a particularly rough case involving several dead children before the Unsub was caught, and the BAU once again being stingy on their funding, things escalated to a full blown affair that night in a dingy motel room in El Paso, Texas. Before long, it wasn't just the cases where they shared a room; it became lies and secrets and anything to find time to be with each other.

Emily realized almost immediately after that first night with JJ that she was in love with the blonde. She pretended it wasn't real and even spent a considerable amount of time trying to convince herself that she wasn't, but no matter how hard she tried, the truth was the truth. She loved JJ. But because she loved her, she knew she could never tell her. Making JJ choose between her life with Will & Henry and Emily was something that the brunette was never going to do.

But now that Penelope knew and the rest of the team was suspicious, Emily knew things couldn't stay the same way much longer. The idea of having to give up the woman she loved was destroying her inside, but she knew it was the only thing she could do. At least if they stopped, she would still be in JJ's life. They could find a way to maintain their friendship and perhaps she wouldn't have to lose her all together. Still, the idea of saying all of this to JJ was something that made Emily feel sick.

All she could think about as she tried to drift off to sleep, was JJ.

Another knock reminds Emily of what had woken her up in the first place and she quickly swings her legs out of the bed and makes her way slowly to the front door. There is another knock, this third time much more insistent than the two previous and Emily's frustrations from the evening and her exhaustion are starting to make her blood boil as she throws open the front door, a glare etched on her face.

"What!?" JJ's hand is risen as if she's about to knock again and upon seeing the blonde, Emily's face changes instantly from anger to worry. "JJ? What's wrong? What are you doing here?"

Emily steps back a little from the doorway, allowing room for JJ to enter and the blonde does so without a single word or response. It was very unlike JJ to just show up; they always called before so this behavior has Emily very concerned. As soon as Emily had closed the door and turned back around, she feels hands pulling her with more force than ever before.

Their lips connect and Emily immediately relaxes into the kiss. Despite all her uncertainty and her worry, having JJ there with her, their lips pressed together meant that even if things were all about to end, at least Emily would have the memory of their final kiss. She doesn't want the last one to be over so soon, so she traces her tongue along the blonde's bottom lip, seeking entrance which she is given almost instantly. Their tongues roll around slowly and sensually, as if they are both trying to convey every thought and feeling with the kiss itself. But despite wanting to stay this way forever, the need for air eventually becomes overwhelming and Emily has to pull back, her brown eyes staring deeply into the blue ones in front of her. Almost as if she is memorizing every last detail of the blonde with a single gaze.

"I'm sorry," JJ says breathless from the kiss. "I just, I just had to do that before..." she trails off, her fingers starting to trace patterns on the soft skin that is exposed on Emily's torso due to her small sleep shirt having risen up slightly. Emily struggles to keep her eyes open and not let things go further before important words are said.

"Before what Jayje? Is everything alright?" Emily asks wanting to know so many things but needing to make sure JJ was okay first and foremost.

"That depends," JJ replies, she too trying to keep herself from skipping the talking part, knowing explanations needed to be given before anything else could happen.

"On what?"

JJ sucks in a breath, pulling Emily impossibly closer to her body. She allows her head to be pressed so tightly up against Emily's chest that she can practically hear the thumping of her heartbeat. She feels her own start to pick up to match the rhythm.

"Will and I split up tonight," she whispers.

Emily pulls back from her tight embrace with JJ, mostly so she can look deeply into her blue eyes again. She isn't quite sure she heard the blonde right.

The words JJ had said sounded so calm, so casual and there isn't even a hint of a tear in her eyes when Emily searches for them. Instead, she's overwhelmed by the sense of calm and relaxation she finds in those blue orbs instead. As if on autopilot, the best friend demeanor she's so used to having in public washes over her.

"Jayje, I'm so sorry," Emily starts tilting her head slightly sideways and her brow furrowing a little when a smile creeps onto the blonde's lips. "What happened?"

"You did," JJ explains as she finally lets herself release the taller woman from the spot she had been holding her still in and latches their fingers pulling Emily toward the couch in the living room. As they arrive there, they sit side by side, hands still entwined.

"What do you mean? Did Will find out?" Emily asks, panic starting to take over as she wonders if Penelope had been able to keep her mouth shut like she said she would. JJ can't bring the words to her mouth so she nods instead and Emily squeezes her best friend's hand in hers. "I'm so sorry Jay, I never meant for this..."

She trails off the words when JJ's free hand raises and puts a finger to her lips. It rests there as JJ's eyes darken slightly.

"I need to say this before I chicken out," JJ says finally removing her finger from Emily's lips. Upon Emily's gulp and nod, JJ continues. "Tonight Will told me that he has known for a long time that something has been going on between you and me. That he had always known in some way and that it was time for me to be happy. And while splitting up with Will is scary I know without a doubt in my mind that the only way for me to truly ever be happy is if I get to be with you. And not in the shadows and not in secret. But really be with you. Because, somewhere along the way through all of this, I fell in love with you. I know I wasn't supposed to and that this was all just supposed to be a casual thing, but no matter what I do I can't stop thinking about you and how being with you makes me happier than I've been in a long time. Somewhere between all the lies, I found the truth. And the truth is, I can't imagine my life without you. And that night, that night in L.A., I heard you. I heard you whisper that you loved me when you thought I was sleeping. It scared me then, because I didn't know if you meant it the way I wanted you to. Because if you didn't, well, the thought of that made me feel like I couldn't breathe. And if you did, if you did that meant that this was real. And if it was real that meant that I needed to make a decision, one I was petrified of making. Now, the decision is made. So I guess what I'm trying to say is..."

The blonde doesn't get to finish. Emily can't wait for more words. Her lips find the younger woman's immediately and they kiss with every ounce of energy, force, passion and love they have for one another. Eventually, they both pull back, breathless.

"I meant it," Emily breathes out. "God Jayje, I've been in love with you for longer than I can even remember. I honestly can't remember a time when I wasn't in love with you. And I know it was me that said I wanted to keep things casual but that was only because I didn't want to pressure you and I didn't want you to think I was going to make you choose between me and Will. I never wanted you to have to make that decision."

"I know," JJ remarks, her hand carefully tracing the skin by Emily's jaw. "But I needed to make it. I needed to make a choice to do what makes me happy. And Em, you are what makes me happy."

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Emily asks wanting to be sure before allowing her walls down completely and yet kicking herself internally for giving the opportunity for JJ to possibly change her mind.

"Is this what you want? Because I don't want to be the one to pressure you now. If you aren't ready for this, for everyone to know," she trails off as Emily starts to laugh.

"I've recently been informed that my feelings for you haven't been quite as hidden as I might have thought," the brunette explains and JJ can't help but let out that last little bit of breath she had been holding, afraid of the reaction the woman she loved would have when she found out most of the team was already suspecting something was between them more than friendship.

"Funny thing, I was informed of that too tonight," the blonde smiles. "So we are going to do this then, huh?"

"I'm all in Jayje. I love you," the brunette responds.

JJ leans impossibly closer to Emily, their lips centimeters from each other and both their eyes close as they take in the scent of their newly declared love. It was out in the open now and they could finally be together the way they both wanted. There were no more lies, no more secrets, no more hiding. Just the two of them and the truth about how they felt out there for all to see.

JJ licks her lips in anticipation of the kiss and so much more that's about to come, whispering out just before.

"I love you too."


End file.
